Well, I thought I'd figured out who I was going to vote for in the governor's race next week, but now something has sent me into a tizzy. The candidates have been piling up celebrity endorsements. And while I realize that I should be swayed by all these irrelevant personalities, I just don't know which should matter the most.
For example, take Mike Huckabee, the former governor of Arkansas. He's backing Attorney General Mike Cox.
He's even made a radio ad supporting Cox. Now, if you are one of those skeptical, cynical types, you might ask -- what does Mike Huckabee know about Michigan? True, he was once severely obese, like so many of us are, before he lost a hundred pounds.
He also used to live in a double-wide trailer. And he campaigned here for a couple of weeks two years ago, before finishing a poor third in the GOP presidential primary.
But what special knowledge does he have about Michigan? Simply this. He is anti-abortion. Cox is also anti-abortion, and has been endorsed by Right to Life of Michigan.
Well, that should settle that. Except, if you'll permit me to turn my brain on again, consider this. Abortion became legal throughout the United States in 1973, through a decision by the U.S. Supreme Court. If it ever becomes illegal again, it will be either because of a Constitutional Amendment, or by another decision by the Supreme Court. The governor of Michigan can't do anything about it.
Wouldn't we be better off focusing on those things the governor can do something about, like tax policy, job creation, and environmental protection and trying to figure out who might do those things best? Okay, sorry. I'm being logical again.
But in the interest of fairness, Cox isn't the only candidate touting celebrity endorsements. Mike Bouchard, for example, yesterday announced that he had snared the endorsement of Joe Arpaio, the sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, who was briefly nationally famous for his decision to make all inmates wear pink. Sheriff Joe said he was backing Mike Bouchard because he would help stop the flow of illegal immigrants.
I have no idea, however, whether he would make them wear pink, or what that has to do with funding education or balancing Michigan‘s budget. Bouchard has an ace in the hole, however; he is also is being backed by Joe the Plumber. Joe, who is from Toledo and whose name is really Sam, became famous when he confronted Barack Obama over taxes during the last campaign.
Later, Joe, I mean Sam, lost his job after it turned out that he wasn't really a licensed plumber. But he's still a celebrity.
The other candidates have their endorsers too. Pete Hoekstra has former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney. Andy Dillon, for example, announced yesterday that he had the backing of the Michigan/Ontario Council of Bishops of the Church of God in Christ.
And Rick Snyder has the backing of Bill Ford Jr., whose company has run up $27 billion dollars in debt. So -- how do I sort out which celebrity counts the most? This morning, I made my decision: I am going to wait to see who Lindsay Lohan goes for. That is, if she comes out for anyone before she comes out of jail.
This is a phenomenal essay with some points I had not considered before.
Shows how I'm still not sure who I'd like to vote for in the Michigan Gubernatorial election.
Posted by: Thomas A Valdez | July 29, 2010 at 12:41 PM